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Jun 20, 2010 22:14:33 GMT -5
Post by cutebutboring on Jun 20, 2010 22:14:33 GMT -5
"I'm here, I'm right here." he promised, he reached out to hold her hand but remembered he couldn't because of the cuts she'd taken on her wrists. "Just try to stat calm and don't give up, okay? You're gonna be fine."
She nodded weakly before letting her eyes close again. She could hear various machines being connected and doctors telling the nurses what to do but she could feel any of it. And that was enough to panic her. She had no idea what was going on around her and now she was starting to doubt ever trusting Derek.
A few hours later they were in a private room where Derek insisted only essential staff would be allowed. No one else was allowed to enter unless they got through him. It was his way of insuring that his wife would be as safe as he could keep her.
She couldn't feel again until the next day. She opened her eyes, surprised that she could move enough to turn her head and see Derek asleep on an uncomfortable chair beside her bed. "Derek." she called weakly.
Since he incident, he began sleeping lightly. The slightest noise could wake him. His eyes open and he wasn't even groggy. He instantly snapped up, prepared to do anything to keep his wife comfortable. "Oh.. I thought someone came in here again...I'm a little over obsessive about that now." he admitted. "How are you doin?"
"What are you talking about?" she asked, clearing not remembering a single thing that happened to her.
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Jun 20, 2010 22:26:33 GMT -5
Post by Addison on Jun 20, 2010 22:26:33 GMT -5
"Derek." She repeated. She was in pain. "Owww." She muttered. She looked at him, she was biting her bottom lip to help control the pain. She tried to move her arms. There was a searing burning pain in her neck. and her arms felt like they were on fire.
"Why am i here? Wha---What happened?" She asked weakly. "Why do I feel like i've been run over by a bus?" Her voice was quiet and full of pain.
"I'll get someone to up your morphine drip." He said paging the nurse.
"Your very weak right now Addie. You were attacked, you lost a lot of blood but you are going to be fine." He moved towards her slowly, and when she nodded he sat down on the bed, shining a flashlight in her eyes. Preparing to do a full neurological exam.
"What is the last thing that you remember?" He asked her, knowing that loss of blood and excessive trauma can cause some memory problems even if she wasn't hit over the head.
"i--- I umm--- " She whispered. And then for the first time she realized that if Derek was there that she must be in Seattle.
"How did I get here?" She asked. "Why am I in Seattle?" She questioned him, growing weaker with every passing moment.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" She asked him. "The last thing I remember was you storming out on me, you not listening to me when I was trying to tell you I didn't sleep with Mark." She said. …
"How did I get to Seattle" She asked confused.
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Jun 20, 2010 22:39:06 GMT -5
Post by cutebutboring on Jun 20, 2010 22:39:06 GMT -5
"The chief called. You came out here for a case and we ended up getting together. You don't remember any of that?" he asked softly. She answered by shaking her head. "Well, two nights ago we fell asleep in the on call room together and yesterday morning I woke up find your wrists slit and your neck cut just slightly. We got you to the ER in time and you have a transfusion...or five to make up for the blood loss. But I was hoping you'd remember enough to tell me who did it."
She shook her head again, this time with tears slipping from her eyes. "I don't know who did, I did, Derek. I didn't. This wasn't a suicide attempt. The last thing I need is to be locking on the pysch ward for a suicide watch." she insisted, her voice beginning to die down. "...But I don't know who could have done it...unless it was you."
"Me?!" Derek exclaimed. "Why would I do that? Why would I tell you someone did it to you if I had done it? I would have just told you that you did it to yourself. I promised you I wouldn't hurt you ever again and I didn't."
The silence between them grew. They both sat there silently, watching the TV which wasn't even on. A nurse awkward slipped in to fix Addison's morphine dosage and slipped out without a word, leaving the duo to themselves. "I don't understand why someone would just walk in to an on-call room, slash someone's wrists and leave little marks on their neck for no reason...I mean...I've barely associated enough with people here to piss them off."
Derek shrugged. "I don't know, Addison. I'll figure it out, okay. Don't worry." he answered. "The last thing you need to do in your condition is worry about this. Just try to get better and if you remember anything just tell me. That's all I ask of you."
She nodded weakly. "Okay." she agreed. "Thank you for believing me this time.. that I didn't do it to myself. Thanks for actually listening to me this time."
"It's the least I could do." he smiled warmly.
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Jun 20, 2010 22:59:00 GMT -5
Post by Addison on Jun 20, 2010 22:59:00 GMT -5
She fell asleep in his arms again. Confused as ever. She was only asleep for about twenty minutes before a dream had taken her over. It was so real. Like everything that had happened on that dreadful night was happening all over again. She could feel him ontop of her. She could taste his toung in her mouth as he forced her to kiss him. Could feel the way he hurt her. Could feel in great detail the beating that had happened afterwords, before he began raping her again and Mark had come in and rescued her, her savior. There was a foggy white mist that covered her and then she was somewhere else. She was in the oncall room, snuggled into Derek's arms, as if they were back in Medical school, as if nothing had ever happened to come between them .
She could see a dark shadow, but nothing more, The shadow looked to be about 5 foot 3 or so. She watched as the shadow picked up the scaple and slashed her throat. Addison realized immideatly what had happened, She felt like she couldn't move, she was rooted in her place as she watched the shadow slice her wrists and then place the scaple in her hand to make it look like it as a suicide attempt. Just as silently as the shadow had come into the room it slivered out again, and she was left, stuck, laying there, watching herself bleed out, and Derek, not knowing what was happening sleeping peacefully beside her. The shadow came back into the room, and now it was the face of her rapist. Leaning over her again, touching her, threatning if she told anyone he would kill her.
“NOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOO! !!! !!! GET AWAY NO!!!! NO!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE! DON”T TOUCH ME! NOOO! “ She screamed In her sleep, loud enough to cause Derek to hurry to her and gently shake her .
“ADDISON! “ He said trying to wake her from her terrors.
“Addiosn wake up, it's only a dream!” He yelled shaking her. She woke up with a start and sat up as fast as she could. She saw Derek again, and tried to pull herself away from him but she dind't have the strenght.
“Let go.!!! No!!! please let go! Please don't hurt me!” She cried.
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Jun 20, 2010 23:15:18 GMT -5
Post by cutebutboring on Jun 20, 2010 23:15:18 GMT -5
"Addison..." he began calmly. "Honey, you're dreaming. No one is trying to hurt you. Open your eyes and you'll be fine." he promised, doing everything he could to calm her down.
"Derek." she gasped breathlessly as soon as she him beside her. "I...she... I don't..."
"Calm down." he repeated. "Just breath, if you need to tell me something you need to be able to breathe first. Calm down and you can tell me, I'm not gonna disappear and not listen." he assured, helping her breath more calmly through her fears.
Before she could start talking the door cracked open and Meredith poked her head in. "Dr. Shepherd, can I speak to you for a second?" she asked innocently.
"Get out! Essential staff only." Derek snapped, getting up defensively to force her out if he had to. He turned back to his wife and with a much softer voice said, "Let me go see what she wants, I'll be right back." He walked out and stood in front of the door with his arms crossed over his chest. "What did you want?" he asked.
"I uh...why are you all over her?" she demanded. "What happen to us? You said you loved me? Now you won't even look at me anymore, let alone talk to me. You never even leave her room. You've been there for like two days now."
"She's my wife, Meredith." he answered simply. "I promised to be by her side in sickness and in health, for better and for worse. That's what I'm doing. I owe this to her, she went through hell and I wasn't there for her. I already screwed it up. I'm not going to let her go through this alone too."
"She's a maniac, Derek. She tried to slice her own wrists...while she was in bed with out. Does a sane person do that?! No!"
"How did you know that?" he asked suspiciously. "Every doctor, every nurse on this case has been sworn to secrecy. A law suit waiting for anyone who releases any information to anyone. Confiscated license and all...How would you know what happen to my wife?"
"I uhh.." she silently thank god when her pager went off. "Sorry, emergency." she said before running off.
Derek walked back into the room and sat back down on the chair that had become his throne over the last few days. "You okay?" he asked, before turning the TV on to distract them.
"I think it was her." Addison whispered.
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Jun 20, 2010 23:29:42 GMT -5
Post by Addison on Jun 20, 2010 23:29:42 GMT -5
“How do you know?” Derek asked his wife, his voice wasn't harsh or uncaring, it was curious. He sat down on her bed beside her so that he could gently stroke her hair and comfort her.
“I umm” She said she was trying to remember, a spcific instance that would lead her to believe that it was Meredith. It took her a few minutes of her bravely running through her terrifing dream over in her mind and then she remembered. It was suttle but she rememberd.
“That perfume.” She said a confused look on her face. She wrinkled her nose as the smell of Meredith's perfume lingered still in the room even though she had gone.
“I dont wear it, it gives me migraines, and makes me throw up, if i'm around it too long but the person who hurt me was deffiantly wearing the same perfume. I remember because I dreamed about what happened, that's why I was screaming. I could see what happened to me. I woke up for a minute and I could smell that same perfume, it was so strong I nearly threw up, And someone about her height cut me. Their hands were small, and smelled like oranges.” She struggled to try and remember more but she just couldn't.
“I'm sorry, I.....I can't remember....” She said as tears fell down her face. “What if i'm wrong and it wasnt her? What if it's the guy who raped me? What if he has come to Seattle to finish me off like he tried to do while I was in NY? What if he is in leagues with the person who had hurt me? What if he like paid them to finish me off or something ,” She asked in a panicked voice.
“Meredith would have quite the motive wouldn't she?” Addison asked in a frightened tone.
"I didn't cut myself derek! I wouldn't not when things were finally for the first time since this all happened loooking up." She said , as if seeking his approval, his security of knowing she didn't try and off herself.
"She did something to my neck Derek. I was paralized. I couldn't scream." She said, sobbing.
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Jun 20, 2010 23:44:15 GMT -5
Post by cutebutboring on Jun 20, 2010 23:44:15 GMT -5
He nodded in an effort to calm her from an impeding emotional breakdown. "Okay, I believe you, Addison. Stop working yourself up like this." he told her. "I know that something must have happened to you. I know that you wouldn't get what you want and try to kill yourself after it. I may have lost touch of who you've turned into over these last few years but there are something things that never change about a person."
"I don't want her to get into a legal mess for something she didn't do though, Derek." Addison reasoned. "It's Chanel Number Five. She's not the only person on the planet who wears that. It could have been someone else."
"She may not be the only one on the planet but in this hospital...I mean how many people under 5'5 with small orange scented hands wear that? One....Meredith Grey." he answered. "I just don't know who I'd go about proving that...I'm sure she was smart enough to use gloves, if not all the prints would be gone after the nurse washed all the blood off you."
He sat there, doing through everything he'd seen in any criminal investigation show. She sat there watching his expression change with every failed idea. "Okay...so maybe I've got nothing right now." he admitted. "But I'll think of something, I always do. We could put her on a lie detector...it would work right?"
"Those things aren't full proof." Addison answered.
"Damn." he muttered. "Fine. Scratch that too. But whatever it is, it won't happen again. Even if it's the guy from New York, even if he hired someone to finish the job off for him. Nothing will get passed that door. Want me to get a personal security guard to stand out there? I can afford it, I swear."
"I'm sure you can."
"Why did it take losing you to understand how much you mean to me? Why did you have to get raped and beat and tortured? Why did I have to fall for her and hate on you? Why can't things ever be easy between us?" he wondered.
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Jun 21, 2010 0:03:30 GMT -5
Post by Addison on Jun 21, 2010 0:03:30 GMT -5
Addison didn't have time to say anything else at that moment because at that very moment a doctor whom Addison recognized as one of the fellow OBGYN's walked into the room. Addison looked at her confused, but she didn't speek right away.
"I have orders to take you off of all medications, aside from your saline drip." She explained to her.
"Who authorized this?" Derek asked, angered.
"Chief Webber." She replied. "I will explain everything when I'm done, but It is crucial that she be taken off of everything." The nurse said, not wanting to say too much, clearly seeing that addison was already upset and not wanting to upset her worse.
"What the hell's going on? What is the GYNE patrol doing here?" He asked the doctor and she gave him a "you think your so much better than me but really your not" Look before finishing unhooking Addison from all of her medication tubes and cleaned the area up again, putting bandages on the wounds. Strangly enough Derek and Addison, knowing that she had orders from the chief let her work. When she was finished Derek pulled her aside.
"Do you mind telling me what the hell you are doing?" He asked her.
"Chief webber just got the blood work he ordered back, your wife is six months pregnant, and extremely malnourished, which is why we believe she is healing so much slower from the recent attack. We are taking her off of all of the medications that are harmful to the baby, and putting her on a nutrition drip and we are leaving her on the saline drip. She needs to stay hydrated. "
"What about her pain?" Derek asked "How could you not have figured this out earlier?"
" A pregnancy test is not in the typical blood work that is required in an emergency situation such as your wife's . We did what we had to do to save her life, and now we are doing what we have to do to save the baby." She said , her voice confident, however they are talking quietly and Addison too tired to care, isn't straining to listen to what they are saying, and really probelly not even hearing a single word they are saying.
"What's going on?" She asked Derek her eyes curious, when he sat back down beside her , looking a mixture between concerned ,and angry. Thinking that she must have know she was pregnant, that she could have prevented this.
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Jun 21, 2010 0:16:43 GMT -5
Post by cutebutboring on Jun 21, 2010 0:16:43 GMT -5
"How could you not tell me your were pregnant?!" he said accusingly. "You told me everything, why leave that out?! Especially when it was so crucial to your treatment."
Addison narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. "Pregnant?" she asked. "No...that's not possible. I can't be. At least not after everything that happened...I haven't even gotten laid since the rape." she paused with horrified expression on her face. "I'm pregnant with his baby?!"
"No!" Derek exclaimed. "No, no, no. You're not pregnant from this rapist of yours, Addison. You're six months pregnant, I'm hoping the only person you were having sex with six months ago was me... You didn't know. "
"No, I didn't. And Yeah...you were." she answered absentmindedly. "I'm pregnant...with your baby...and it survived this. That's gotta mean something right? Like we're meant to be together and this baby is proof of that?...I wonder if it's a boy or a girl." she drifted off into a day dream of her unborn child with a grin slowly growing on her face.
"Addison, I know you're excited. I am, too. But..."
"What if whoever it is tries to hurt the baby too?" she asked, realizing her new fear was more important her old ones where she feared for just herself.
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Jun 21, 2010 0:36:31 GMT -5
Post by Addison on Jun 21, 2010 0:36:31 GMT -5
An OBGYN resident came into the room with a GYNE cart, the ultrasound machiene and everything. So that Addison wouldn't have to leave her room. She helped Addison to pull up her nightgown so that her stomach was exposed and as gently as she could, rubbed the gelly on her tummy so that she could do that ultrasound.
“Were just going to check and make sure everything is going ok with the baby. “ She said giving a re-assuring smile to the couple. She moved the wand around on Addison's extreamly small stomach and looked up at the screen. It took a few minutes of intense studying before she actully spoke.
“What is it?” Addison asked. She looked up at the screen and she knew instantly what it was. The child was too small to be a six month baby. Not much too small, but still too small. She looked away, the image hurtful. How could she have not known that she was pregnant for that long? How could she have not known beings she is a baby doctor herself?
“It's a little boy.” The resident said on a lighter note. Although still not speeking of the baby's size. Addison knew that it was a concern, but not a life threatning one.
“It's a boy.” Derek said smiling at his wife. She smiled back , looking at the screen, studying it for every little thing.
“He's small for his age, but It's not an immideate cause for concern. However I do want you to continue with the nutritional drip, and eat the crapy hospital food when it's brought to u.” the resident smiled at Addison knowing good and well she knew this. “If you need any medication we can bring you some tylonal, but as for anything stronger...”
“I know....nothing stronger,” She said with a small smile. “Don't forget I have three more degrees than you do..” She said, and then smiled more friendly . “Thank you Dr. Richardson.” She said, as she cleaned the gelly off of her tummy and watched as the resident left the room.
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Jun 21, 2010 1:03:53 GMT -5
Post by cutebutboring on Jun 21, 2010 1:03:53 GMT -5
Derek sat there in his chair, still memorized by the imagine he had seen. The smile still shined on face face like she'd never seen it before. "What?" she asked.
"You have a person inside of you...a person that we created. I have a son...and he's inside of you. That's amazingly terrifying....It's something I've always dreamed of but I don't want him to hurt you...are you sure you can handle this?"
"I'm fine, Derek. He's going to be fine. I'll do everything and anything I have to to make sure he's fine." she promised. "I've dreamed of this too and I'm not gonna ruin it. It's already a miracle as it is." ____________
A month and a half later Addison desperately clutched onto her pillow in the middle of the night as pain surged through her body. She moaned painfully, hoping it wasn't loan enough to wake Derek who was peacefully sleeping beside her. His eyes popped open right away and he sat up, turned on a light and looked at her.
"You're in labor aren't you?" he asked immediately, getting out of bed to help her up. "We gotta call your doctor and get you to the hospital."
"I'm fine...it's not labor. It's too early for labor." she groaned. "He can't come now."
Ten hours later Ethan Shepherd was born, though a month or so early he was perfect. At least in the eyes of his parents. His only flaw was his lack of weight. He had to stay in the NICU until he reached four pounds but other than that, he was perfect and no one could deny it.
Derek sat at the edge of his wife's bed with their son in his arms. He ran his finger lovingly along his cheek and laughed every time the three pound two ounce baby made any sound. "Got through the tough part, Ads. You survived it, he survived it...It's all looking up from this point on, right?"
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Jun 21, 2010 1:12:40 GMT -5
Post by Addison on Jun 21, 2010 1:12:40 GMT -5
“Right.” She said, smiling down at her baby she was exausted, it had been a hard, labor. But it had all been worth it. She held him closly as she was allowed to, she didn't want to hurt him. But she couldn't help thinking that he was her merical baby.
“Derek I'm scared.” She said a week later when she was released from the hospital, but little Eathen was forced to stay. “Can't I just stay here with him. Can't I just take care of him? Really I am the best in my field Derek.” She said convincenly.
“Yes and you are also a new mother who hasn't slept in a week because she's been up watching her baby do all the sleeping.”
“I just want to protect him.” She said, hitting him playfully.
“As do I, but you are exausted, and you are going home if I have to drag you there.” He said, threatning to pick her up. But still being careful. Remembering that her wounds, although it had been a month and a half , were still sensitave and not completely healed.
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Jun 21, 2010 1:30:06 GMT -5
Post by cutebutboring on Jun 21, 2010 1:30:06 GMT -5
"How about we just go to dinner?" she answered. "I'll get out of her and see something outside this hospital for the firs time in a long time, it'll be just you and me and...it'll be fun. Not to mention that if I have to eat something else made in this hell hole, I'll throw up."
"Okay." he agreed. "Wanna see a movie afterward? Or go to a club...maybe take a walk. I'm up to pretty much anything that you wanna do."
"I wanna come back here and see my son." she answered with a smile. "I'm already gonna leave him for like two hours...we gotta start slow. I can't just take off all night. I need to be here to make sure he's okay. Okay?"
He nodded. "Okay. We can start slow." he agreed while escorting her out of the florescent building.
When they returned just over two hours later they were in the best mood that they'd been in over the last few months. Each one of them had a smile on their faces, couldn't stop talking in whispers and laughing. Derek help the door of the NICU open for Addison and stepped in after her. Both froze in their place when they saw what was going on.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Derek yelled, rushing forward and pulling the intern away from the incubator where his son was lying in. He knocked the syringe filled with god knows what out of her hand.
"You said you were going home." she tried to argue reasonably. "I wasn't doing anything...that's ah...Vitamin E. It was in his chart that it needs to be injected. I was doing you a favor!"
"Our son doesn't need vitamin E. Believe me, I memorized his chart." Addison answered numbly. She wasn't sure if she should stop hanging on and pass out like she wanted to or if she go over there and kill Meredith. Either way, she was grateful that she made the choice to return in time to save her son from whatever fate Meredith had planned.
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Jun 21, 2010 13:16:54 GMT -5
Post by Addison on Jun 21, 2010 13:16:54 GMT -5
Addison, petrified had taken her son into her arms, and held him close, she was too scared to speek as she clung to the child, holding him tight, but still being mindful of his Iv's and monitors and careful not to cause them to fall off.
“What the hell....” She said....in shock …. as she looked to the table beside her son's bassoniette and saw three small vials of medication. She handed the baby to his father and took each of the vials in her hands in turn. The first one was empty, and Addison knew now what was in the sirenge. What did this mean? She looked on the lables of all three medications, trying to remember through her numbness and fear what they had in common. Barbiturate, Tetrodotoxin, potassium solution.
She closed her eyes thinking hard. Barbiturate, tetrodotoxin, and potassium solution, and as the answer came to her she dropped the vials of medication, causing them to shatter on the previously sterial floor.
“What is it?” Her husband asked her, he too obviously shaken by this incident, as he was holding onto their son just as tightly as she had been.
“Barbiturate,” She said “She was trying to put barbiturate into Eathen's IV, (it's an anastetic inserted through the IV to make a person go to sleep and feel no pain.) The other two vials were tetrodotoxin, (a paraletic) and potassium solution. She was creating a homeaid lethal injection Derek. She was trying to kill our son.” Addison exclaimed, sinking down to the ground terrified.
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Jun 21, 2010 13:33:09 GMT -5
Post by cutebutboring on Jun 21, 2010 13:33:09 GMT -5
"But he's fine, look at him...he's almost at four pounds so he'll be out of here any day now. And then he'll be safe because he'll be at home with us and no one can ever touch him again." Derek told her, trying to give her some way to see the glass half full. "Look, he's yawning...it's so cute, Addison. It he wasn't okay I doubt he'd look cute right now."
"You're his father, you would think he looks cute no matter what." Meredith brought to their attention from the awkward position she had put herself in. She knew she had no place to talk and she was screwed as it is but she couldn't hold herself back. "He's hideous. He looks like a lab rat gone bad."
Addison ignored the comment made about her son. Despite the fact that she was his mother, she knew he wasn't a 'lab rat gone bad.' She'd seen hundreds of newborns, many of whom had been younger than her son at delivery. He may not have looked as perfect as any baby born at full term but he the creation of Addison Montgomery and Derek Shepherd, to make an ugly child would be impossible for them.
She looked up at her husband. "I was 'in the safety of my home' when I was violated and beat. Taking him home isn't going to solve our problems, Derek. If someone's out to hurt us, they're going to go through with it no matter what. We can't keep him safe, there is always going to be something we can't prevent."
Derek glared at Meredith than to his wife. "She won't be a threat to us. Wanna know how I know? I'm about to call security and she's gonna spend the rest of her life in prison. She never going anywhere near our son ever again."
"She's not the only one I'm worried about." Addison admitted numbly.
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