|
twelve
Jun 22, 2010 13:10:16 GMT -5
Post by cutebutboring on Jun 22, 2010 13:10:16 GMT -5
The one name that Derek Shepherd never wanted to hear again was Addison. He didn't care anymore. His love for her had died somewhere along the way as he made the trip to Seattle. He didn't care if he never heard from her again, he doubted her would care if he found out she was shot and killed or if she was run over by an 18-wheeler and turned in road kill. He was wrong. Sometimes it takes losing someone to know what you had in them.
That particular day, Derek was with the new love of his life. The one woman who managed to fix his broken heart. He wasn't expecting to get the phone call he got, and he sure as hell wasn't expecting to hear the news that he heard.
"What?!" he barked into the phone as soon as he answered. He didn't know who it was, he didn't recognize the number. But just the fact that is was a New York Area code pissed him off to no extent.
"Listen Jackass..." Archer Montgomery started. "I'm not exactly thrilled about having to talk to you either but I gotta do what's best for my sister."
"I don't care about you or your sister." Derek made perfectly clear.
"Oh, trust me. I know you don't care about her. And why would you care about me? The point is, Addison has cancer...ovarian cancer to be more exact. And she doesn't want treatment and she's choosing not to get treatment. She won't even let a doctor look at her so we're not sure what stage it's at or how much longer she's got but she wants to see her kid before 'it' happens."
"She's got ovarian cancer?" Derek asked in shock, never expecting to hear that on that night of all nights. "And she doesn't want treatment? Why the hell wouldn't she want treatment?!"
"I'm not sure what's going on in her mind, Shepherd but she wants to see the kid and that's the least you could do for her. I mean...it did come out of her. You've got no right to hold Sophia anyway from her. You don't even have full legal custody. You just took her and left!"
Derek didn't even bother listening to what his brother and law had to say. After a certain point he had hung up. The only things that stuck with him was the fact that his cheating wife had cancer and was choosing to day. That's the only part that mattered. The only thing was, he didn't know whether he shouldn't care becasue it's the perfect karma or if he should break down into tears because she didn't deserve to be going through anything that harsh.
|
|
|
twelve
Jun 22, 2010 13:22:37 GMT -5
Post by Addison on Jun 22, 2010 13:22:37 GMT -5
Derek hung up the phone. Meredith was looking at him curiously as he stood there, frozen in time. HE couldn't proccess this. He couldn't He didn't want to be feeling what he was feeling, he didn't want to admit that that he actually still felt something for his ex wife. HE tried to ignore the fact that she had slept with his best friend, tried to ignore the fact that he was in such fury that he uprooted his entire practice, his entire career to move all the way across the country. As far away from Addison as he possibly could. And now….now that he had burried his feelings deep down inside, she had cancer. She was dying.
"What's wrong?" Meredith asked , gently coming up behind him and peering down at the cell phone as she wrapped her arms around him.
"It's nothing." He said, turning and kissing her on the cheek. "I have a surgery to get to ." HE said, and then walked in the direction of the OR. HE needed time to think to clear his mind, and he couldn't do that with his girlfriend , no matter how much he loved her, the feelings that he was trying to deny, trying to burry down deep is that he still loved Addison too, and although they weren't the best couple in the world, she had broken his heart.
How could he just ignore this and let her die ? How could he not force her to fight and to get treatment? Why would they not be forcing her to fight ? Why did she not want to fight? I mean sure having a daughter that hates you and a husband who desists you even more didn't help, but she was a vibrant loving woman who didn't deserve to die the painful death that he knew ovarian cancer caused.
He just didn't know what to do.
|
|
|
twelve
Jun 22, 2010 13:42:06 GMT -5
Post by cutebutboring on Jun 22, 2010 13:42:06 GMT -5
Meanwhile, All the way across the country Addison moped around in her Brownstone all alone. She had no one there to keep her company, no husband to tell her everything would be alright, no daughter to fight for (or with). She was alone and she knew she deserved it. She figured she had no purpose to fight cancer, it would be so much easier for everyone if she just gave up. No horrible divorce, no splitting everything down the middle, no custody battle. He could have everything, he could raise their daughter and she didn't have to worry about the emotional after math of it.
She hadn't really thought about calling her husband or her daughter since she was diagnosed, everytime she'd tried before that she had failed. They would ignore her calls and never answer any text message. It was only logical that she give up after a while. So when she saw her cell phone go off, the last name she expected to see on the caller ID was 'Derek'.
She answered hesitantly only to hear her six year old daughter on the other end of the line. "Archer told Daddy that you're dying and Daddy told me." she stated matter of factly, skipping the overrating greeting of a call. "Is it true?"
"I uh.." Addison hestitated to answer. How do you you tell a sick year old her mother is dying by choice? "I'm sick, Sophia. And there isn't much that can be done about it. So yeah...eventually it's going to kill me but I'm not sure when."
"Good." Sophia answered matter of factly. "Cause you hurt Daddy and you deserve to die! And I think that it should happen really really soon so that you can't think of a way to fix it because I don't want you to live!" she exclaimed harshly before hanging up without a 'bye' and going about her day as if nothing happened.
Addison on the other hand couldn't do the same. For some reason she at least hope that she'd have one last chance to make things right with her daughter. But she couldn't because her daughter had no interest in making amends with her. She had always been her father's little girl, had always had a better bond with him than she had with her mother. On some level, Addison shouldn't even have hoped for once last affection filled conversation just to give her the slightest bit of comfort.
|
|
|
twelve
Jun 22, 2010 14:08:45 GMT -5
Post by Addison on Jun 22, 2010 14:08:45 GMT -5
She laid down on the couch, she could no longer supress the tears that were falling from her eyes. She hugged the phone close to her chest. She didn't know what she had ever done to Sophia to make her hate her so much. She was a good mother. She had put her career on hold, had stopped working such long hours and had been home every night to tuck her into bed. She had taken afternoons off to go to her daughters dance recitals and school plays. Her father however had never been there for her. He was home after she went to bed, and went to work before she woke up in the morning. She didn't remember a time when her daughter acutally liked her, but she was confused. She didn't understand why her mommy and daddy were frighting her entire life. She had a sneaking suspicion that Derek had been feeding her lies about her mother her entire life.
It had been two months since Derek had left NY, and in that time her daughter had grown even colder towards her. She didn't know how to fix this. Didn't know how to make this problem go away, but more so she didn't know how to explain the pain she was feeling inside, she didn't know how to explain the reason why she was refusing treatment. It wasn't because she wanted to die, although really and truly with the life she was living it was becoming more of an option every day. She refused to tell anyone that the reason she couldn't, wouldn't receive treatment is that she had a child grown inside of her. That she was four months pregnant with a child that wasn't her husbands. How did she explain to derek that the first time that she was slept with Mark when derek had caught them really wasn't the first time. How did she explain to Mark that she was killing herself to bring the baby , the life that they had created into this world?
"Adidson?" Mark asked walking into the room. They had stayed together after Derek left, but Addison thought he was working a double.
"You haven't left that bed in days. You haven't been to work, you haven't eaten or drunken anything for the last few days, "
"I eat all the time you just don't see me."
"Maybe in your imagination you do but your reality is a bit twisted.
"What's the point? I just throw it up anyway." Addison said bitterly. Beginning to regret her decision to become a mother ."Everyone else wants me dead why can't you just let me comply?" She asked bitterly, angrily throwing her expensive phone against the wall, causing it to shatter. She began crying so hard that she couldn't breathe, and Mark took her into his arms, telling her to breathe, holding her thin frame, telling her that he loves her and that everything is going to be ok. Is it horrible that the entire time Mark was holding her and comforting her, the only thing she cold think about was how much she wished that Derek would hold her again? That Derek would tell her he loved her. That Derek would give a damn if she lived or died?
|
|
|
twelve
Jun 22, 2010 22:10:41 GMT -5
Post by cutebutboring on Jun 22, 2010 22:10:41 GMT -5
Derek stared at his daughter with a disapproving gaze. He didn't understand her hostility toward her mother. Sure she has some flaws as a wife but she was damn near perfect as a mother and he'd never expected for their child to be as horrible as she is.
"I told you to be nice and sympathetic. Not to make her want to cut herself and die sooner than she's already going to!" Derek exclaimed. "What did she say? You made her cry, didn't you? You don't make cancer patients cry!"
"You're not suppose to treat sick people any differently!" Sophia argued, she'd been taught that at an early age. She spent more her time in a hospital while her parents work and that was almost the first thing she learned.
"You're like the devil...you're cute and adorable when you want to be but deep down inside you've got this scary evil touch and I don't know where you got that from." Derek answered her. "And you need to fix that before people start to notice it because that can really set you back in life...especially if you plan on associating with other human beings."
"I got it from Addison." Sophia have her smart ass reply. "You say she's Satan all the time. May be grateful for looking like her but I sure hate that my personality ended up like hers too. Now talk about bad genes selection."
"Addison is your mother." Derke exclaimed. "And you're gonna call her that because she's not your buddy and you're NOT on first name basis."
"What does it matter if she's gonna die and I'm never going to see her again?" she asked almost sarcastically before leaving the room to end the conversation.
|
|