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Nine
Jun 19, 2010 20:03:41 GMT -5
Post by Addison on Jun 19, 2010 20:03:41 GMT -5
Addison ran her fingers through her hair. She didn't realize how unkept and matted her hair had become over the last two weeks. She pulled her hair back with a hair ditty and then Looked at Naomi. She wanted to kill her. She just wanted her gone from her life. She just wanted to end it all. Her life had become unlivable since she had been raped. She thought the sorrow of loosing her child the first time would be enough to kill her, but this was worse, being ripped of her soul, of her dignity, she couldn't handle it.
"Look Nai…you can sit down, or you can stand, you can leave or you can stay, but I really have to go to the bathroom and so I am going to do that, brush my teeth, and possibly take a shower since i'm soaking wet thanks to you anyway." She walked to the bathroom, and she saw Naomi sit down in the kitchen, taking a glass of diet pop from the fridge and opening the medical journal Addison randomly had sitting on the kitchen table.
Addison on the other hand gave her a small smile, and went into the bathroom. She closed the door and turned on the water and then went into the bedroom, she made a great deal of noise getting a clean outfit from the closet and drawers, and then went back to the bedroom, a small package in her hands. She looked in the mirror and without thinking swallowed the entire package of the rat poison. Knowing it would take a few hours to actually kill her, she took a bath slowly and when she got out brushed her hair out, and put on her make-up . She went back in the kitchen to find Naomi sitting in the same place she was when she left.
"I'm fine….really thank you Nai, thanks for all of the talking and the sisterhood of the random depression ass kickers. I feel better, really I do. you don't have to stay here and babysit me." Addison said, giving Nai a smile. She really did look like the old Addison. She even sounded like she was feeling better. Which was a bit suspicious to Naomi who knew that you couldn't just snap in and out of the severity of the depression Addison was going through.
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Nine
Jun 19, 2010 20:14:20 GMT -5
Post by cutebutboring on Jun 19, 2010 20:14:20 GMT -5
"You are not fine." Naomi answered. "I'm not an idiot. You just told me you've been raped, you can't be fine. And you can't look like you're fine and expect me to fall for it. Do you wanna talk? Do you wanna talk to Derek? Alicia may be with him, you realize that right?...Actually, I'm not even sure if she knows about him so I take that back."
"Nai, I'm fine. Honestly." Addison insisted. "I'm gonna go to the hospital and volunteer for a surgery or anything that will keep me busy. I might stop by at the Police Station on my way home to see if there is any change in the case. I'll be fine, don't worry about me."
"Are you sure?" Naomi asked. "Because I'm right here for you if you need me. You can call whenever for whatever. Nothing too big or small, got it?"
"Thanks, Nai." Addison kept the smile on her face while she watched Naomi leave. After she was sure her best friend was gone she felt her legs give out and fell on the couch in exhaustion, knowing that once she closer her eyes she'd never open them again. So she forced herself to get up and retrieved an old picture from the album it was hidden in. A picture of her and Derek and their daughter, back when they were seemingly happy. She went back to the couch and stared at that picture until she fell asleep never to wake up again.
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Nine
Jun 19, 2010 20:29:12 GMT -5
Post by Addison on Jun 19, 2010 20:29:12 GMT -5
Naomi, not realizing that she had forgotten her purse until two hours later, and really beginning to worry about Addison when she didn't answer her cell phone or home phone, drove the 15 miles back to her house, and when she didn't answer the door, she looked and saw that Addison's car was still in the garage and let herself in with the hide a key.
"Addie?" She called. Her voice loud. She walked into the kitchen to get her purse, and then moved to the livingroom and almost collapsed at the site ahead of her. Her best friend was lying on the couch perfectly still, blood was soaking through her dress, and flowiing steadily from her nose. Her arms were already forming deep purple bruises which Naomi was positive wasn't there the couple of hours before when she had last seen her.
Addie?" She asked her again. She pulled the picture from her grip and looked at it. IT was the saddest thing in the world. She had remembered that day. Derek had never been really attentive or really happy, but that one day, around christmas time, Addison had given Derek a surgery as a bribe for him to take a picture with her and their daughter, so that she could have pretended that they were happy. So that one day when they were older and her daughter could understand she could show her the picture. And pretend that they were happy for her. It was three months before their daughter was taken.
She felt her friends skin, and it was cool and clammy. She immideatly checked her pulse it to be rapid but faint. She called nine 11 on her cell phone and then began CPR.
"YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE DAMN IT! YOU ARE NOT TAKING THE EASY WAY OUT! YOU ARE GOING TO FIGHT ! YOU ARE GOING TO WAKE UP AND YOU ARE GOING TO FIGHT! FIGHT FOR YOU DAUGHTER!" She exclaimed as she counted and pushed down on Addison's chest , giving her rescue breaths, and fighting to keep her alive long enough for the ambulance to get there.
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Nine
Jun 19, 2010 20:48:46 GMT -5
Post by cutebutboring on Jun 19, 2010 20:48:46 GMT -5
Two days later Addison opened her eyes to see herself in an unfamiliar location with Naomi by her side. She tried to move but realized her arms felt to heavy to even try. She turned her head slightly to see Naomi staring at her without even blinking. It was apparent that she'd been there the whole time.
"Where am I?" Addison asked weakly.
"In the hospital. I came back to get my purse and I saw you. You were bleeding like I've never seen anyone bleed. I called am ambulance and we got your here in time to pump your stomach and give you a transfusion but... some of whatever you took had already gotten into your system and there were quite a few doctors who said you'd either never wake up or be mentally challenged."
"I'm tired." Addison mumbled.
"You've been asleep for two days." Naomi answered. "You need to try to fight this, Addison. You can't give up, you need to tell me what you took so we can help you. You need help, you need to fight this."
"For what?!" Addison tried to exclaim, although it was barely above a whisper because of her grogginess. "I have nothing left to fight for, Naomi, don't you understand that? Can't you see that when you look at me? My husband is fucking the perfect skinny blond, my daughter walked right back out of my life and my career is going to be effect by that. I've lost it all. Just let me go."
"Your daughter didn't walk out of your life." Naomi assured. "She's right here, if you'd bother to turn your head to the other side you'd see her. The police called your cell while you were passed out, had you bothered to no try to kill yourself you'd know that she's fine. She's been here with me for two days. And you might be happy to know she inherited your passionate love for lattes and has now converted her religion to Starbucksism."
Addison forced herself to turn to the other side of the bed, wondering how she could have missed a whole other person present in the room. "Hey, Mom." she heard the teenage girl say, and she immediately noticed that for the first time in over a decade she heard the name that only her daughter could call her.
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Nine
Jun 19, 2010 21:07:20 GMT -5
Post by Addison on Jun 19, 2010 21:07:20 GMT -5
"Hey." Addison said weakly. "Your here." She whispered. She tried to move, tried to sit up but she couldn't. It felt as if her body weighed a ton. She looked from Naomi to her little girl. The baby that she had held in her arms. She was so grown up now. In every way. She moved a tiny bit towards a sitting position and yawned.
"I'm here." Alicia nodded. She didn't say much after that . She just sat on the edge of her mother's bed, looking at her as if she had never seen her before. As if she was a person instead of someone to torture.
"You need to tell me what you took so that we can help you." Naomi repeated. She traced Addison's hand with her own. It was nearly black and blue from the Iv's that they had put in her hand. Her blood must be so thin that she bruises at a single touch. She couldn't explain it , but she was disappointed. She didn't want to wake up. She wanted to die. It's just like her, she can' t get her life right, and she can't even handle killing herself correctly.
"No." Addison said. Her voice quiet but firm. "Just leave me alone. I'm fine."
"Your not fine. You nearly died. You are going to die unless we can get this substance out of you. It's causing you to have internal bleeding, it appears to have a advanced effect because of all of the alcohol that you have been drinking over the last couple of weeks and your already anemic blood system." She stopped talking and instead just looked at Addison. She looked so weak, so frail. How could she have failed to see that Addison was really dying inside? How could she have not stayed with her and insisted that she take care of her? How could she have been so stupid?
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Nine
Jun 19, 2010 21:20:34 GMT -5
Post by cutebutboring on Jun 19, 2010 21:20:34 GMT -5
"I took rat poison, okay? I swallowed a whole box of rat poison before I went in to take that bath. That's why I was bleeding." Addison answered hesitantly. She would have kept fighting to keep it a secret but she didn't have that much energy.
"Rat poison?" Naomi repeated, obviously not understand why Addison would do such thing. "You're not a rat, Addie."
Addison's eye's narrowed and she stared at her best friend who was stupidly looking at her. "Really?!" she exclaimed sarcastically. "Thanks for clearing that up, I was starting to wonder why I was the only rat without a tail."
"At least we know she hasn't lost that hormone that makes you sarcastic." Alicia said optimistically as she looked toward Naomi. "That's gotta mean that she's not mentally effected like the doctor said she would be."
"Sarcasm isn't because of a hormone." Naomi answered. "But you're right, at least she's still got that. I'm gonna go find your doctor, and we're gonna fix this then you're gonna owe me because I'm gonna set you up with him because he's not."
Alicia nodded in agreement. "He is hot...a fine piece of ass. If Brad Pitt (wen he used to be hot) and Leonardo DiCaprio had a baby, it would look like this guy...if Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt could have a baby that is..."
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Nine
Jun 19, 2010 21:43:47 GMT -5
Post by Addison on Jun 19, 2010 21:43:47 GMT -5
Naomi and Dr. McHotAss were in a small room with computers and one of the xray screening lights on the wall. Addison's scans were on the window of her brain, and internal organs. And they were looking at obvious scarring in her uterus, which was defiantly a sign of a recent miscarriage. He didn't say anything as he pulled Naomi closer to him, and showed her the scans.
"Naomi, I'm sorry, but her baby didn't make it." He said. His voice was concerned and Naomi could feel the sadness for Addison. She couldn't bear the pain that Addison must be going through. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"How far along was she?" Naomi asked
"Not very far….she probaly didn't even know about the pregnancy yet, she was only 3 or 4 weeks along." He said. "Naomi, I know you want to believe that she will get better, but there is obvious damage. The bleeding is not under control. She's had to have 6 blood transfusions in the last two days. Charchol did no good to get the poison out of her, aside from prolonging her life. It's in her blood Naomi. Her blood is poisoned by whatever she took."
"There has to be something you can do."
"We will have to wait and see how everything goes. We can take her into surgery, but right now , if we did she wouldn't survive the anastesia, she is too weak to take the sedation. "
______________________________________
"How's my mom?" Alicia asks, as Naomi walks back into the room. It looked like she was checking her email on her mother's iphone and playing Sims 3.
"She's going to be just fine. Why don't you go get some coffee Your mom will want some when she wakes up again." Alicia agreed slowly and Naomi sat down on the bed in her place taking Addison's hand in her own and waking her up.
"We need to talk." She said, her voice which she was determined to keep positive, very quiet.
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Nine
Jun 19, 2010 22:03:03 GMT -5
Post by cutebutboring on Jun 19, 2010 22:03:03 GMT -5
"Where's Alicia?" was the first thing Addison asked when she didn't notice her in the room. She had gotten far too paranoid to not notice her absence.
"She's fine." Naomi reassured. "She went to get coffee. I spent her because I wanted to talk to you alone." After a brief pause Addison brought herself to ask the question she'd been hesitating to ask. "Did you know your were pregnant?"
"What?" Addison responded. "No....I couldn't have been. Aside from the rape, I haven't had sex since Mark. That was months ago. If I was pregnant I would have known it for a while now." she replied surely, not even considering that she could have gotten pregnant from her rapist.
"Addison, you got pregnant after the rape. The baby was not Mark's. It was from the man who had kidnapped Alicia." Naomi answered. "You lost the baby. You know that your body is not strong enough to carry a child...there was nothing anyone could have done. Are you okay?"
"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine." she answered. "I'm kinda glad I'm not pregnant, I can't handle another child. I especially can not handle the child of a someone who raped me...What?" Addison asked, noticing the not so pleased look on Naomi's face. "There is something else, isn't there?"
"You might not make it through this, Addison." she said solemnly. "The damage done to your blood is extensive, the poison seeped into your veins. Your major organs are all bleeding out, they can't control it. Soon you'll go into multi-system organ failure and it won't be long from there."
"I'm gonna die?" Addison asked, needing to hear it again just to have it confirmed.
"Yes." her best friend answered. "I just thought you might wanna know so you can decide how you wanna wrap things up with your daughter. I thought you should really enjoy it, knowing it's the only thing she'll remember about you."
"Aside from the fact that I've been a complete and total bitch since she met me? That's what you meant to say, right? That I need to make up for that so she doesn't remember me to be some horrible monster. I'm dying and I never even got a chance to get to know her...and know I have a matter of hours left and I'm suppose to make up for that?"
Alicia dropped the Styrofoam cups in her hand, both containing scalding coffee. She didn't even realize that she had gotten some on her leg, she didn't even bother to move out of the puddled latte. "You told me she's fine!" she exclaimed. "She's gonna die?"
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Nine
Jun 19, 2010 22:27:46 GMT -5
Post by Addison on Jun 19, 2010 22:27:46 GMT -5
Addison looked to her daughter, and gave her a tiny smile. She didn't know how to say what she was thinking. She didn't know how to make up for the time that she had lost. Like she said. She couldn't even handle killing herself correctly. She patted the spot next to Naomi on her bed so that Alicia could sit down.
"I'm very sick." She admitted. "I was raped and I couldn't handle it and so I took poison to try and kill myself." She admitted, she was very careful not to tell her daughter who she was raped by because if she told her that she was raped in an attempt to save her, she might actually believe her this time. If she really was dying her daughter doesn't need that in her mind. She also didn't tell her daughter that her leaving again had contributed to her depression. Again she doesn't need this presure.
"NO!" Alicia screamed. "NO YOU CANT DIE!" What's the matter? Their surgeons the best of their kind out there! Can't they fix you?"
"Alicia…"
"NO YOU CAN'T DIE YOU CAN'T YOUR SO SELFISH! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU DO YOU HEAR ME!?!? I WISH YOU WOULD HAVE NEVER FOUND ME! " She screamed, as she got up off of the bed and left the room, tears streaming from her big blue eyes. She hated her mother, and then she was starting to feel something, starting to love her, and now she was dying.
"Addison--" Naomi started.
"Shut up Naomi." Addison practically screamed. "Shut up--- This is your fault, you should have never told me." Addison exclaimed.
"Please tell me again how bad of a mother i am, how much of a screw up I am , will it make you feel better Naomi? Will it make your perfect ego and your perfect world inflate a little bigger?" Addison asked glaring at Naomi angrily.
"This is not my fault. I didn't make you take the poison."
"No but you stopped me from dying. You stopped me from achieving my goals. If you would have just let me die none of this would have happened. God you are so selfish Naomi. You wanted to play the hero didn't you? Just couldn't leave well enough alone...."
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Nine
Jun 19, 2010 22:40:54 GMT -5
Post by cutebutboring on Jun 19, 2010 22:40:54 GMT -5
"You don't mean that, Addison. And neither does she, she doesn't hate you. She's just upset to be losing you and she wants to convince herself that she's not losing some who means anything to her." Naomi replied. "She'll come around, I'll go talk to her. You guys are not leaving things off like this."
"You don't everything, Naomi. You think you're the perfect mother and you know everything about being a mother but you don't. At least not about being a mother to my kid." Addison retorted. "She's my kid and I know that she pissed off at me. Just leave her alone, leave me alone. Stop getting involved and screwing everything up."
Naomi looked away from Addison, grabbing her purse off the chair. "Fine, you wanna die alone than die alone. I don't care anymore." she answered and walked out of the room to see Alicia sitting on the floor against the wall.
"Is she really dying?" she asked softly, not even bothering to look up from the hands she had resting on her knees.
Naomi nodded regretfully. "I'm really sorry, Alicia." she answered. "I wish you had more time with her, the real her. Not this person that she became. You would really love the woman Addison used to be, you idolize her. My own kid loved her more than she loved me, she spent more time with Addison than she did with me or her father. Addison literally raised her. That's how I know she'd be a great mother to you."
"Who cares? Might as be the worst mother on the world. She'd dying, what does it matter how great she could have been?!"
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Nine
Jun 19, 2010 22:52:42 GMT -5
Post by Addison on Jun 19, 2010 22:52:42 GMT -5
Alicia it matters because you need to know how she was before all of this happened. You need to know how much she loves you, and how she would have been, how she could be again if the situations were different. You need to know that she looked for you every single day that you were gone. You need to know that no matter what you say right now, or what she says right now, she loves you." Naomi said her voice quiet.
"Why is she so angry?" Alicia asked her voice evidence of the crying that she had been doing. She gave a slight hiccup.
"She's not the woman i've grown to know and love. " Nai admitted. "She has a lot going on right now, and it all happened all at once. I think she is just confused. She is one of the most stubborn women i know. You get that from her just so you know. She had it sent in her mind that her life was endless and she wanted to end it, so now she got what she wanted."
"I'm sorry." Alicia said, leaning against Naomi.
"For what sweetie"
"For making her kill herself."
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Nine
Jun 19, 2010 23:07:12 GMT -5
Post by cutebutboring on Jun 19, 2010 23:07:12 GMT -5
"You didn't make her do this." she promised. "This was a long time coming. She'd been keeping everything in since you were kidnapped, your father claimed her was there for her, he pretended to support her but she never really leaned on him. And when he left her she was truly alone. And then the raped happened and it all became too much for her to handle. Understand? You didn't do this."
"She told me she would die for me." Alicia whispered. "She said she didn't care about dying if it meant that I wouldn't be miserable. I did everything short of telling her that I'm miserable before I took off. How could I not have played some role in this. Even if I did just fuel the fire, I caused the explosion."
"Point is, she's in there all alone and she's gonna be gone by the time the sun starts to come up. It's her last night and I'm sure she'd much rather be with you than she would be alone. Maybe you could go in there and talk to her, get to know her before...you miss the chance. Let her get to know you. It might seem ridiculous right now but in a few years you'll regret it if you dont."
Alicia nodded her head, "I just need a minute or two to calm down. You can go, I won't leave her alone. I promise."
"Okay, my number is on her phone. Call me if you need anything." Naomi answered. "I'll try to be here in the morning before...ya know... that. If I don't make it than just make sure she knows that I love her. She should at least know that there were people who loved her despite what she may think."
Alicia nodded again, "Doesn't she have any family?"
"Nope. You're all she's got. That's why I want you to be with her. You're all she has. And she's all you have."
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Nine
Jun 19, 2010 23:29:00 GMT -5
Post by Addison on Jun 19, 2010 23:29:00 GMT -5
Alicia walked into her mother's room, and was taken aback at how much paler and weaker she appeared than she had when she had first gone into to hospital, if that was at all possible.
"I don't want you to die." She pointed out. "What happens to me if you die?" She didn't mean to sound selfish but she really did want to know, was she going to have to go to back to the man who raped her.? Would she have to stay with her father? Or naomi?
"What do you want."
"I don't want you to die."
"Clearly you've said that already."
"Look I'm not trying to be a bitch to you but I would expect that you would give me a certain amount of respect in return is that too much to ask?" The teenager asked her and gave her a ugly look.
"I tried to do what's best for you, I tried to save you, to help you." Addison said she was bruised so bad and her entire body ached.
"I don't like you….but we can work on it….I don't want you to…." Alicia started but addison cut her off .
"Get Naomi." She said, a sense of urgency in her tone. She started gasping for breath like she couldn't breathe. She felt an intense pain in her chest and the machines all over the room began going hawire. She lay motionless on the bed, her eyes closed.
"MOM! MOM! " Alicia screamed panicked, she reached the blue button, like she saw on that one episode of Grey's anatomy and pressed it. "CODE BLUE! MY MOM IS FREAKING CODING HELP CODE BLUE!" She screamed into the button. She didn;t know if what she was saying was right or not. All she knew was that her mom was dying.
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Nine
Jun 19, 2010 23:48:17 GMT -5
Post by cutebutboring on Jun 19, 2010 23:48:17 GMT -5
The next thing she knew she was being pulled out of the room against her will. She tried to fight it and pull herself out of the grasp the nurses had on her but it wasn't working. She was taken out of the room and the door closed in her face so she couldn't see what was going on inside. She stood there panting, trying to listen to what was going on inside.
Before she knew it, she was in a heap on the floor crying hysterically and begging for her mother. She could be dead and the last thing she would have said to her was 'I dont like you.' And no matter how disconnected she was from her mother, she couldn't live with those parting words.
An hour later she woke up to discover she had fallen asleep and had been brought to a chair in her mother's room. The first thing she noticed after that was the fact that her mother was still in the bed and not covered by a white sheet. She looked significantly more frail than she ever had before, now she really did look like she was on the cusp of death.
"I can't be nice to you while you're awake. That's weird right?" she mumbled in a whisper. "But I don't really hate you...and if you die I don't want you to die thinking I hate you. That would just be plain cruel on my part...and now I'm talking to myself before you can't even hear."
She sighed and fell back onto the chair, wondering what her life would be like if she had never been kidnapped, if her mother had never married her father. If the two just conquered life together without depending on anyone else. Would they still end up where they were? Her thoughts were interrupted when she turned around to see the sun starting to rise. She remember Naomi telling her that she probably wouldn't last until that morning and began sobbing harder than she ever had because she knew it would all be over before she could understand any of it.
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Nine
Jun 20, 2010 0:01:27 GMT -5
Post by Addison on Jun 20, 2010 0:01:27 GMT -5
A nurse came in and talked to Alicia for a few minutes, explaining that her mother's condition was declining and that she needed to be moved to the ICU unit, and also that she was too young to stay in the ICU unit with her mother alone. She took her mother's cell phone and moved outside of the hospital bed, shakily dialing Naomi's number.
"They say I have- I have- To leave." She gasped in-between her tears. When Naomi had got to the hospital. She had met her in the oncall room where one of the nurses said that she could rest until Naomi arrived.
"What happened calm down." She said calmly.
"She---She crashed, and then she was fine, well she didn't wake back up but she was alive. Then they woke me up and said her condition wasn't stabilizing and that I had to leave so they could take her to ICU." She whispered through sobs. She was only 13 years old, she had dealt with a lot of grown up stuff in her life, but she didn't know who to deal with this.
"It's all my fault Naomi, she hates me, the last thing she even said to me was "I--I don't like you" She sobbed and Naomi took her into her arms, holding her tight. "I'm sorry, It's my fault, I'm sorry." She said over and over again.
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